BUNKER INTELLIGENCE DIVISION

CABAL
SCANNER

Saw an X post that smells like coordinated glazing, ceremonial engagement, fake alpha, or a rich person congratulating another rich person for buying the same bags? Paste it here. The bears will analyze the post and issue a completely unserious Cabal Activity Report.

PARODY & SATIRE · A HIGH SCORE IS A JOKE, NOT EVIDENCE OF A REAL CONSPIRACY. NEVER PASTE PRIVATE KEYS OR SEED PHRASES.

Margin Call Marge presiding over the Bunker Bears crypto tribunal in a battered judge robe — PRESIDING: MARGIN CALL MARGE
She reviewed the chart. She is already disappointed.

PASTE THE X POST URL OR POST TEXT

251 / 8,000

SELECT RADIATION LEVEL

DARKClerk down 94% FERALDeb found the team wallet NUCLEAREtherscan at the funeral

Paste a public X URL and Marge will retrieve its public embed, or paste the words manually. The scanner is comedy, not an allegation. Names, emails, links, handles, wallet addresses, and phone numbers are stripped from the exported card.

JUDGE MARGIN CALL MARGE“The timeline will come to order or be liquidated.”

BUNKER BEARSCABAL ACTIVITY REPORT

FILE #0000
SUBJECT: THE TIMELINE

X POST SAMPLE CAPTURED FROM THE TIMELINE

“The culture is stronger than ever.”

SUSPICIOUS SIGNALS

1 masterpiece + 1 culture invocation + 1 “we are early”

LIKELY ACTIVITY

Coordinated ceremonial glazing

MARGE'S TRANSLATION

The roadmap has more seasons than the product has buttons.

COURT-ORDERED CONSEQUENCE

Defendant must ship one working feature before using the word “ecosystem” again.

*Comedically fabricated · 1080 × 1350 · Redacted and ready for the timeline · Related-word suggestions powered by Datamuse

CABALSCANNER

Coordinated ceremonial glazing

CABAL
SCANNER